NHL 09-10 Season Preview

Ok so training camp starts saturday, and the pre-season starts tuesday. Here is the 09-10 Eastern conference season preview!!

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

Vesa is awesome. A new man-purse is purchased. Jonas Gustavsson impregnates his girlfriend. Kulemin is on fire. Luke Schenn looks sexy like always and scores 6 goals and 17 assists. Tlusty plays the whole season. Grabbo is solid. Komisarek is shut-down and epic. Kaberle plays amazing. Beauchemin beats up people. And stands up for Matt Stajan so Luke doesn't have to. Matt Stajan stops balding. Poni finds a new bestie. Ian White shaves and deeply regrets it.

MONTREAL CANADIENS

Cammalleri has a great season. He's the only one on the team. Well ok, Carey Price does OK. And Bob Gainey FINALLY gets fired.

OTTAWA SENATORS

Kovalev injures himself in the 4th game. Jason Spezza disappears in the south pacific. Alfredsson goes back to Sweden.

BUFFALO SABRES

Tyler Myers makes the team. Buffalo makes the playoffs.

BOSTON BRUINS

The bear eats everyone except Blake Wheeler cuz I like him. Tim Thomas sucks

NY ISLANDERS

Improve slightly cuz of John Tavares. Mark Streit blocks some shots, and they finish 14th in the east. Dwayne Rolosson dates an ice girl even though she's 17 years younger than him. Rick DiPietro doesn't get injured for the first time ever. Martin Biron continues to have pretty eyes.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

Overdose on cheesesteaks. Ray Emery almost dies and then doesn't but he has to retire from hockey forever. Mike Richards falls through a grate in down-town Philly. He misses 7 games.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

Re-sign Colby Armstrong and Petr Sykora (i wish). Finish 2nd in the conference, repeat champs in 2010. Fleury gets conn smythe and Sid gets the most points (playoffs and reg season) Malkin dumps his slut girlfriend. YAY!

NEW YORK RANGERS

Henrik Lunqvist gets a knee injury so Valiquette has to play. Redden fails at life.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS

Martin Brodeur is passed his prime, and only wins 32 games. Parise gets 44 goals.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS

Jose Theodore plays amazing and caps finish 1st in the east. The defense gets it together. Backstrom gets 96 points and Ovechkin gets 107.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

Steve Stamkos gets arrested. Lecavalier gets traded.

FLORIDA PANTHERS

Jacob Markstrom FINALLY plays!!

ATLANTA THRASHERS

Kari Lehtonen is EXCELLENT. Kubs is great on defense and Antro plays with Kovalchuck.

CAROLINA HURRICANES

Cam Ward hits a slump but the Canes come in 7th and make the playoffs. Eric Staal gets 83 points.